My friends, this one is for all of you. I’ve had this post on the tip of my tongue — or fingertips — for a while. It’s about life, and the twists and the turns and the journey, as well as the fact that you never know what’s around the corner for you, even when you can’t see the light.
What a difference a year makes
This time last year, on the outside, I was doing amazing. Dave and I had just been named part of the East Bay of San Francisco’s “40 Under 40” from Diablo Magazine; our faces were still sore from the most fun and lavish trip ever to Las Vegas with our best friends, where I even got to meet Britney Spears (OMG!); and well, everything seemed to be gravy from the outside looking in, as we worked super hard and yet still managed to travel and fit in tons of fun activities.
But, this time last year, I also taught my very last BODYATTACK class at my favorite gym, in my favorite time-slot, with my favorite participants, because I knew I had to give it up to further reduce my exercise load even more than I already had. While I was doing well at my full-time job at a gym company as the editor of a health website and making fun trips to L.A. for fitness shoots, I was not loving it — for various reasons. And well, most importantly, I was totally struggling to figure out how to get my hormonal cycle to be consistent and regular and ultimately get pregnant, after many many months of confusion and disappointment and no real medical answers.
During this time last year, I knew that I was very blessed with many things in my life, but I was constantly dwelling on and thinking about my fertility issues and the fact that I had no real direction or answers on what the right path was for me or for us. Dave was right there with me. In fact, we were dying to start a family and just not sure whether it was in the cards for us, as we watched every single person around us announcing pregnancy number two and three … and we couldn’t even get to one.
Just show up every day and be positive
But rather than give up or give into this hardship, I kept on. I wrote two happy and fluffy posts on A Lady Goes West each week even when I contemplated giving up this entire blog, I commuted a couple towns over in terrible traffic to a desk job that wasn’t the right fit for me Monday through Friday, and I kept teaching the only workout class at the time that I thought wasn’t ruining my fertility, Les Mills BODYPUMP, in the early mornings to a large group of devoted folks, meaning I had to wake up at 5 a.m.. And also, may I mention that I had confided in VERY few people in my life, or in OUR lives, to tell them what was really going on, so I basically kept much of my struggle to myself and to Dave and my own Mom. From the looks of it, I was doing great, and a lot of times, I was … but sometimes, I wasn’t doing so great.
I made the choice to keep working hard on all of my various buckets, which at times seemed like too much for one person and included the day job, blogging, teaching group fitness, maintaining a social life and well, my infertility issues, which needed constant attention and many appointments. And because I didn’t give up and I didn’t crumble, I was able to see many of those struggles through, and two of them are no longer issues at all any longer.
If I had known last year at this time, that this year at this time, I would be working again as an entrepreneur and focusing on my own website (which has never done better than it is doing right now, and to which I am totally grateful), and I would be in my last trimester of a very healthy pregnancy, I would have been over the moon. I wouldn’t have worried so much about what was in store for me and felt so confused and frustrated. But you know what — I didn’t know that then. All I knew were the struggles in front of my face, and at times, they seemed to be never-ending.
Whatever you are going through will get better
That’s why I want to bring this up today to all of you. If you have something hard in your life — whether that’s with your health, your family, your job or your finances — please know that it’s probably not permanent. And it most likely CAN and WILL get better. While hopefully it doesn’t take you a whole year to see improvement, know that waking up each morning and putting on your brave face is important. Things can change in an instant. And if you are chipping away little by little in the right direction, one day you’ll reach that destination where you want to go. It happened to me, and I wasn’t so sure it would.
And now, when I look back on tougher times, I don’t get sad that I had to go through things that were hard. I’m happy about what I learned. I’m happy about how I’ve grown. And I’m happy that I became a better and more healthier person for persevering.
Let me repeat this thought one more time, so you really absorb it: If you are in the throws of the tougher times … believe it or not, there’s a chance that you too will look back on these times and find some small bit of appreciation for what you learned, even if you can’t imagine that now. You will be stronger. You will have growth. You will find happiness …
Speaking of what I’ve learned, by the way, for those of you who haven’t had a chance to read my ebook, “Fit and Fertile,” I would still LOVE for you to check it out. I poured my heart and soul into that ebook, not only sharing my entire story (which has not made it onto the blog and only remains in the ebook), complete with medical procedures, lifestyle changes and a lot of helpful self-reflection, but I also offered some tips for women seeking assistance with cycle irregularity, hypothalamic amenorrhea and plain old balance with their hormones. If you want to buy the book, use the code, aladygoeswestfriends, for a discount too. Writing my ebook was perhaps one of the most therapeutic ways to put closure on a tough time, and I’m so glad I did it.
You are stronger than you think
My friends! Whatever you have on your plate right now, I wish you the best of luck handling it. You are stronger than you think, and you mean a lot to the people in your life — so keep your chin up and keep on keepin’ on. Because you just never know where you will be in a few weeks, a few months or even a year.
As always, thank you for being here on the blog. You have no idea how much your presence, your clicks, and your eyes mean to this lady. Be well!Get your chin up! Here's a little #motivation on what a difference a year makes by @apstyle ... Click To Tweet
Questions of the day
What’s something tough that you’ve overcome in life?
What’s a positive mantra that you like to use when you need it?