Three helpful mindset shifts I’ve made recently

Mindset is everything! And so are mindset shifts.

When I wrote about my experience using a life coach, I had quite a few of you ask to hear more as I continued to learn.

And so today, I’m going to share some mindset shifts that my life coach has helped me to make recently. Some of them I’ve come to on my own, but a few specific shifts are directly attributed to coaching tools, and they are invaluable.

By the way, when I did my A Lady Goes West reader survey a few weeks ago, someone left a comment that they read all of my posts except for ones about “mind health.” Well, I appreciate all of you, and I totally appreciate everyone taking the time to do the survey — but that comment made me laugh a bit. If you want to have real health, you cannot forget about the mind. It can’t be something that you don’t care to talk about. (And the good news is, that person won’t read this, so I don’t have to worry about offending her.)

Here’s why mindset matters: If you are stressed, anxious, depressed or constantly in a state of being frazzled, then you don’t have deep health. Because you can work out a lot and eat all the veggies, but if you don’t get your mind right, it’s never going to feel good. There’s a real connection there.

I’m far from perfect when it comes to mindset, but I’ve come a long way over the years from my perfectionist “what will people think of me” days. And as a work in progress who loves to share my learnings, this post is going to get a little personal, but hopefully it will give you some tools you can use too.

Three helpful mindset shifts I’ve made recently

Three helpful mindset shifts I've made recently by A Lady Goes West

Here we go …

1. Name your inner critic, give her a personality, and tell her to shut up.

I shared about this tip on Instagram last week, and I wanted to share it here too.

I was having a conversation with my life coach about how I was feeling overwhelmed with all the things I’m working on and having some major self doubt about it all too. My inner critic was yelling at me. Ick.

Here’s why: I’ve taught fitness classes in person for 11 years and always had some slight nerves, but loved it. Well, getting into the virtual teaching world has been different. I’ve been unsure of myself, struggled with all the technology aspects (there’s a lot to consider), judged my teaching style and my imperfect physique too. And well, it’s been a little hard. 

With the help of my life coach, I’ve given my inner critic a name and a personality, so I can see her for who she really is. She’s called “Aimee the Saboteur” — and I named her Aimee because I knew an Aimee who was always super mean to me for no reason, and so the name seemed to fit perfectly. (Side note: Nothing against any Aimees out there, I’m sorry you are lumped into this, and I’m sure you are really nice.)

Once I learned that tip and gave this critic a name, I actually felt like I could see those critical and negative thoughts as coming from someone who had no business judging me in that way. Her comments are not based in truth, they are based in wrong assumptions from an angry person. So I told her to shut up. Aimee the Saboteur is not welcome here. And that’s that.

Sometimes she peeks in when I’m struggling, but I try my best to shoo her out.

Mindset tools by A Lady Goes West - August 2020

2. Identify a setting in which you feel perfectly happy and at peace. And then view your current problems from that setting.

This one sounds confusing, right? It’s really not.

This exercise looks like this: Can you picture your happy place that just makes you feel amazing and at ease? Is it hiking in the mountains? Is it sitting around the dinner table with your family? Or is it even performing on stage? Take that place, name it, and use it when things get stressful.

My happy place that is totally stress free is a breezy Caribbean beach in the late afternoon. (Side note: Even though I grew up in Florida, lived pretty close to the water and took beach trips once a year at a minimum, I haven’t been to a beach in years, and I totally miss that feeling — also, I really need a vacation.) Anyway, I named this feeling “blissful beach,” and when I’m in “blissful beach,” everything is going to be alright.

From my “blissful beach” position, I can go through all the things that are bothering or stressing me and see them with a different view. I have a new perspective that sees my problems, stresses and overwhelm as less significant. Easier to handle. Not as challenging. And more pleasant. It’s like the things I’ve got on my mind are more like opportunities than stresses. I don’t know why, but this really works.

It’s funny how perspective can change everything.

Want to join me on my “blissful beach”? Come on over!

Mindset shifts by A Lady Goes West - August 2020

3. Consider discomfort as growth. Learn from it, and see it is temporary.

We are all feeling discomfort right now, aren’t we?

Whether it’s homeschooling kids, having no outside childcare, working from home or dealing with all the many issues around quarantine and the national pandemic. And this is not easy. Sometimes, when we’re in an uncomfortable growth period, all we want is for things to level off and get easier. I’ve felt that a lot lately.

But when I look back at my life, the hardest times have been the ones when I’ve made the most progress. Those are the times I look back on as big shifts for me. I can think about the process of healing my hormones and trying to get pregnant. I can look back on the time of being in a new city across the country from my family and trying to build a new life. And I can look back on adjusting to new motherhood while also having my own business. These times are sort’ve like dark clouds when you are in them, but they are also times that you see what you are made of.

Right now, as we’re all dealing with some stuff, I challenge you to look around and see how far you have come and how much you have learned already. This is a temporary opportunity to blossom, in some way, some how. Let’s use that.

And those are my mindset shifts!

Three mindset shifts by A Lady Goes West - August 2020

By the way, I can’t say enough about working with a coach. If you have thought about using a life coach, I highly recommend it. I’m happy to share the info for my coach, or you can reach out to her here.

Thank you for reading about these mindset shifts, my friends! Have a wonderful day!

(By the way, the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is open to the public today, so check out my shopping guide, if you want to score some deals.)

Other posts you may like …

Questions of the day

Do you struggle with your mindset?

Do you have any mindset tips that have worked for you?

What would you name your inner self critic?

Where is your happy place?

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8 Comments

  1. I love this post! But do I say that every time?!

    As much as I want to join you on your Blissful Beach, I’d rather be in your kitchen with you eating a bowl from that Mendocino Farms place you always post about. Can that be my setting?

    I’m so old school, but my biggest mindset tip is writing stuff down. I have three sections in my journal. One for things I’m grateful for (my Mom is healthy). I write in this section every single morning, without fail, non-negotiable 5-10 minutes. A second for manifestations, which are things I write down that I want to happen but as if they have already happened (I am in a happy relationship with a man that understands me and makes me feel loved and secure). And a third for fears/worries/stresses (I am overwhelmed with the tasks at my new job and I worry I won’t be able to learn the social media posting as quickly as I need to). These all help me put into perspective, pen to paper, what I have going on in my life and more often than not, the list of gratefuls always helps me ignore, quash, the fears/worries/stresses.

    xoxo.

    1. Hi Courtney! My friend! Your old-school tactic of writing things down is still VERY much an effective and powerful way to shift your mindset. And the fact that you are consistent with it is amazing too, but I know you are consistent with everything you do. I love that you spend time with manifestations, and that’s something I’ve yet to spend time on, but I should. I hope everything you envision becomes your reality soon. Keep up the great work, lady! 🙂 xoxox

  2. Hi Ashley! Great post with a lot of motivational information! I am definitely a “hiking in the mountains” person when it comes to my happy place, but I love your “blissful beach” setting too 🙂 . I love how you said to see your stresses as opportunities and that is so very true for me. Seeing my obstacles as opportunities changes my whole mindset. Seeing an uncomfortable growth period as temporary is so very helpful like you mentioned as well. Sometimes we look too far ahead at the destination that we miss all the beautiful moments along the way. Thanks for the inspiration!

    1. Thank you so much for reading. And yes … looking far ahead can be beneficial in business, but sometimes I think it’s way better to focus on the here and now in our personal lives, especially during strange times!

  3. We all have an inner Aimee, ain’t that the truth! I need to name mine…

    Great tips and mindset shifts, I’ve been thinking of many as well. I’ve been focusing on not getting stressed out about things that might happen, or even things that I know will happen. I can take the time to prepare a reasonable amount, but beyond that I know I will figure it out when I need to. Like most difficult experiences, no amount of planning or worry before we go through them would make a huge difference (most likely). In the end, we figure stuff out when we need to, why add to our full plates :). It has been a journey to be more go with the flow, and I’m kind of loving it.

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