Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and some end-of-year thoughts
Hello, friend. Thank you for clicking through to A Lady Goes West to read my words today. It felt like the right time to wish you Happy Holidays and/or Merry Christmas, and it also felt like the right time just to write. Grab a mug of coffee or tea, and sit back and (hopefully) enjoy …
I started this blog for fun in September of 2012 as a casual way to stay in touch with my friends and family in Florida when Dave and I moved to California. Then, I started writing this blog more seriously in March of 2014 and began delving more into wellness and fitness topics, as my career away from the computer moved in that direction. And over the last 10 years, I’ve shown up for multiple blog posts a day at times and for one post a week at times. I’ve lived for opening up my laptop, creating a “new post” and pouring out.
But it seems like little by little over the last year or so, I’ve started to open up the new post, begin to create it, then stop mid sentence and close it out or delete it. Not only do I find myself second guessing my words in general (hasn’t everything been said before?), but I also find myself second guessing over-sharing — something I was used to doing for so long, but now, these days, feels weird.
I’ve been a pretty big over-sharer on the internet in the past. I mean, I’ve talked to you about my periods, I’ve talked to you about my miscarriages, I’ve talked to you about losing a parent, and I’ve talked to you about falling short of goals and feeling confused and having doubts about multiple things (when a good blogger should be sure of themself, you know?). Previously, I never wondered whether I should write this way or not, until all of a sudden, I started to wonder.
When I hit 40 last year, I started to have little thoughts in my head like: “Aren’t you getting too old to write about your life and take pictures of yourself?,” “Shouldn’t you leave Brady off the internet?” “Don’t you want to go on a trip and not have to do a written recap about it?” “Are you still going to be writing about your silly current faves and favorite protein powder when you turn 50?” “But really, what’s your plan for the future?”
In fact, these questions go through my head every single day. But still, I’ve tried to show up on here about once a week to share helpful, entertaining or useful content, because I love connecting with you, this is an important source of income for me, and this is something I’ve worked so hard on for so long, and I wanted to do. But as I’ve written this year, I’ve also pulled a little bit of myself out of it, purposefully. And I’m guessing you’ve noticed that, as you’ve read my words. Yet, as we near the last few days of 2024, I keep coming back to the idea that I used to love to just create a blank post and write.
So today, in between running errands for a party I’m hosting this weekend (hosting my own birthday party, that’s right), creating content for my fitness classes (still something that takes up the majority of my time, although it doesn’t make up the majority of my income), doing a million chores and closing out year-end stuff with A Lady Goes West LLC, I decided just to write. Typically, I would write my “end-of-year” report on both my business and personal life. And well, I’m not doing that this year, I’m just writing.
2024 was a year (which is not quite over, but almost) that absolutely flew by. And while we went on some cool trips as a family, there weren’t a lot of highs or lows this year for me, or for us. I don’t feel like I accomplished much. I don’t feel like I had any big wins. I also don’t feel like I had any major failures either. I just sort’ve went along with my daily life, working, momming, playing and doing. Never quite sure if I was doing a good job in any area, at any time.
You see, in other years, I can always point to things I’m particularly proud of, or things that were really awful. And I know highs and lows really well, I do well with highs and lows — I don’t have that with 2024. At first, I felt like maybe that made it a not-so-great year or a stagnant year. But then, I realized, maybe that made it a year of more balance.
This year, I’ve snuggled with Brady almost every single morning, I’ve held his backpack as we’ve walked home from the bus stop together, I’ve come home mid-day after work to Rudy shaking his little tail aggressively and run to pick him up for a longer-than-normal “cherish” session, I’ve shown up as my best self (no matter how I actually felt) and taught more than 350+ group fitness classes full of content 100 percent created, programmed and delivered by me at Life Time Charlotte, and I’ve spent a lot of quality time with Dave, my mom and my friends too. Maybe those aren’t highs or lows, but they’re the real-life good stuff.
Also this year, in 2024, I started out the year feeling like I needed to make adjustments professionally and have a vision for my future career, and I wanted to have a plan in place for that once Brady was in first grade in August. And here we sit, at the end of 2024, and I don’t have a plan. I intend to keep writing and teaching fitness classes, but I need to have a better idea of what this looks like for the long haul.
I always tell people that if I had guessed what my life would look like around 40 years-old, back when I was 20 years-old, I would have assumed I’d be in some high-powered corporate job, making a ton of money, wearing pencil skirts, being stressed all the time about projects and deadlines, and coming home to an empty, but well-decorated modern house. Isn’t that funny? I was always so driven in a different way that I sort’ve assumed my career choices would have made my personal life suffer, but I’d have a great “work” trajectory. But, here I am today, at almost 41, with a full house (well, small family, but the house feels very full to me), incredibly loved and satisfied with my personal life, but feeling some confusion on the professional side and where it will take me years ahead. I don’t think I’ve ever written out any of this before and certainly not shared it on the internet.
And those are my thoughts, written out for you here.
Maybe this isn’t an official lesson for you, but it is a reminder that life isn’t about having a perfectly curated plan that you strategically put in place. It’s about living. The daily moments. The regular stuff. The feelings. Trying new things. Changing course.
And how do I know that? Because here I am, a casual leggings-clad group fitness instructor, writer and mom, who might not have it all figured out at 40, who might not wear the pencil skirts or have the power, but who is actually really, very happy.
What I wish for you at the end of 2024 and in the holiday season is that you take a look at what you do have. Not what you don’t. Your health, your people, your pets, your mindset, whatever it is that brings you joy — lean more into that.
I also want to remind you, in case you fell short of a goal you set out, that the end of the year is just another time, among all the other times. It’s not a deadline. Just like the beginning of a new year doesn’t have to be a starting point. Each day is a new day, and each day you can choose that joy, choose that change or choose both.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading my words. By the way, I almost deleted this entire post three times, but here is it live on the internet for you.
Sending you some holiday love, and hoping you really receive it. And as always, be well, my faithful online friend. I’ll see you back here soon, however that may look. 🙂
xoxo,
Ashley
Even if you don’t feel like you have accomplished much this year, you have made a huge impact on my life. At 37, I feel the strongest and healthiest I have ever been. Your wisdom and recommendations have helped me after pregnancy and making healthier choices! I appreciate you and enjoy reading your posts.
Jen! This is the most amazing comment — thank you for sharing with me and thank you for reading. xoxox
I love this post. I love the way you are so open and honest with your feelings. I hope you are happy about your 2024 – you are such a good Mom to Brady, and it seems like you have a special marriage with Dave. I hope you will continue to write, your posts are always so full of real feelings. One day I hope I might meet you. Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!
You are so sweet, Martha, and I love hearing from you! Thank you for this, and have a wonderful Christmas! xooxo
Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas, Ashley! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your life with us. I hope you continue to blog at least once per week. 😉 Since we both have December birthdays (mine was 12/20) and since we both love teaching group fitness, I feel like we have a lot in common, even though (gasp), I’m 71 and you are 41. You are a breath of fresh air in the blogging world! Your content is perfect. Best wishes to you and your beautiful family for a great new year ahead.
Hi Linda! You are an inspiration, and I think it’s amazing you are teaching group fitness and getting others moving with joy. Thank you for reading and being so sweet to me! xoxo
What beautiful words! I so relate to a lot of this. I feel like I have had so many “boring” years since my daughter (Brady’s age) was born, but that could totally be framed as showing up for the daily, smaller things. And I am 46 and still don’t know what I want to do with my life!
Merry Christmas to you and your family. Looking forward to reading more from you in the new year if and when you feel like sharing 🙂
Hi Sarah! Thank you so much for reading. And I think being a parent certainly makes you more immersed in the daily small things — it’s not always exciting, but can be really beautiful. Here’s to enjoying where we are, whether or not we know where we’re going! 🙂 xoxo
An especially great entry, Ashley! Your words are so well thought out and helpful. Thank you.
Merry Christmas to you, Dave, and Brady, and please share my holiday love with your mom. ❤️
Thank you so much, Principal J! I always appreciate hearing from you! 🙂
Hi Ashley
When I started reading this I started worrying you were stopping the blog for good…thankfully you’re not! I love reading your posts and watching along. Personally I love this post and how you have honestly and genuinely shared what most of us likely feel – do we ever truly know what we want to do when we grow up? What stood out most for me is the part where you said how truly happy you are in the most important aspects of your life! That is winning right there.
Wishing you a Fabulous birthday and Happy Holidays!
Courtney
OMG I thought that was going to be the blog announcement and i am so glad it was NOT!
Nope! I’ll still be around here — hhehehe! 🙂
Thank you so much for reading and for your sweet comment, Courtney. Happiest of holidays to YOU! 🙂 xoxo
Thanks for sharing, Ashley! A year of balance isn’t so bad – and I would consider teaching 350+ classes a HUGE accomplishment!
Happy early birthday 🙂 Oh wait – it’s after midnight in Charlotte – happy actual birthday!
Nicole
Ohhh thank you so much, Nicole! I really appreciate you!! Merry Christmas to you and your gang. xoxoxo
I love your posts, and think the small, “boring” things in life are absolutely the best too – they are whats really important! I hope you continue to share.
Merry Christmas to you and your family! x
Thank you so much for reading, Iona! I appreciate you so much. Merry Christmas to YOU! xoxoxo
I love this post and the important reminders you shared here, Ashley! For what it’s worth, you are one of few influencers/content creators that I regularly check for blog posts and Instagram posts as I really value the content you share, and the real life approach you take without seeming overly “curated.” Thanks for the knowledge, advice, recommendations, and more that you’ve shared over the past few years and I look forward to seeing how your work continues to evolve. Have a wonderful Christmas and holiday season!
Thank you so much, Ashley! You are so sweet, and I truly appreciate you — glad you notice the lack of curation, it’s real life heheh! Merry Christmas! xoxoxox
Merry Christmas & Happy Happy Birthday! Thank you for writing! I really enjoy your posts 🙂
Thank you so much for reading! 🙂 xoxox
Ashley,
I continue to read your blog because your authenticity oozes through your posts. I discovered your blog ages ago when I was looking for Bay Area blogs to follow(our weather and lifestyle are just different enough that someone in Dallas, Chicago, or Boston was not quite hitting the mark for me, even if I still enjoyed their aesthetic). and with your move, I continue to look forward to your blog post showing up in my email.
40’s, in my experience and most of the experience of my girls friends, has been a wild ride but also totally fabulous. My friends and I all discuss:
how our moms never prepared us for perimenopause and the amount of changes our bodies would go through;
how we have gained more clarity in our 40’s(it’s been a journey) as we not only know ourselves so much better, we are also rebalancing what matters most to us and our values;
how much more aware of and in touch we are with our emotions;
how we have much less tolerance and patience for BS that does not add value to our lives;
how we all have a bit more gratitude each and every day.
I was lost in my career, and this will sound TOTALLY “woo woo California” but in the last years I personally have done a lot of reading into our astrology and moon phases. I have started to do moon rituals(have been for about 6-7 years now), and I have found for me, that being super intentional in writing my moon ritual has given me immense clarity. It also allows me to change my mind in ways that do not feel guilty.
Examples are when a moon moment is one that is good for career, or one that is good for finances, or one that is good for shedding what no longer works for you, etc etc, I am focusing on what I want for each one of those topics. I am writing it down, I am invoking elements to help make it happen, I am releasing it to the universe; all of which gives me a feeling of clarity and focus.
Take it with a California grain of salt(or would that be grape of wine??) but it truly has helped me in so many ways.
Next month I am going to a wellness day that includes
RESET: Keynote w/ #1 New York Times Bestselling Author & Spiritual Wellness Thought Leader Gabby Bernstein
GROUND: Breathwork & Meditation
Shannon Handa | Astrology-Informed Spiritual Coach & Healer
EXPAND: The Divinity of Desire
James Brown | Vedic Meditation Expert
NOURISH: Optimizing Health & Wellness
Jae Berman | Nutrition & Wellness Expert
EVOLVE: Inner Child Healing & Relationship Dynamics
Traci Freeman | Holistic Therapist
HEAL: Traditional Chinese Medicine
Redmint | Traditional Chinese Medicine Innovators
All of that to be said, thank you for continuing to share you, the authentic you, as it makes the world a little more connected, by knowing that none of us is alone on this journey.
Happy Holidays to you and your family and I hope you have a fantastic New Year!
I look forward to you sharing your journey in 2025!
Hi Sabrina! I may have left California, but I still have room for the “wooo” and I love that you shared this with me. I’m always open to finding direction and inspiration in any way. I love that you’ve found what works for you and really learned to “get” yourself in your 40s. Your wellness day event sounds amazing, and I haven’t done one of those in far too long — you’re making me want to find one near me. I truly appreciate your words! Sending you some love! xoxox
Love Reading your content Ashley. Jésus is the answer to every need and longings of our hearts
I really liked this post and think this is a super common situation for women (maybe men too? But definitely women). I feel like the advice, “you can have it all – you just can’t have it all at once” has been very true in my own life. But if everything you have is good…and you are grateful for it and enjoying it…does it matter what you once wanted? I frequently think about things like what you posted here and appreciate you sharing this “in real time” processing.
Thank you so much, Sarah! This is a great comment, and I appreciate you! 🙂
The older we get, the more we (most of us) realize that we work to live, not the other way. I too thought I would be doing some big important leadership role by this time in my life (36), but I’m so happy doing a job I like but putting most of my energy into life outside work, especially the baby boy I had earlier this year. Thank you for continuing to share 🙂
I need to get back to checking my favorite blogs on a semi-regular basis, I took a break for a while. Happy New Year to you and your crew <3
Jessie!!!! Congrats on your baby boy, that is so exciting. Makes total sense you’d be off your blog-reading routine with a new baby around and a job (and life) to handle. I’m so glad you popped over to say hi. Happy New Year to you, it’s great to hear from you! xoxo
I needed to hear this today at this moment.
I’m so glad you stopped by to read this, Courtney! 🙂