Tomorrow is my husband’s 33rd birthday. His favorite number is “3.” He wore the “3” on his jersey as a college soccer player. And in honor of all of that, today, I’m sharing three of the most important lessons about life and love I’ve learned from the wonderful man I get to call mine.
Before I begin, let me preface this by saying we’ve been married for almost two-and-a-half years. During that time, we relocated from Florida to California together, leaving behind our friends and family and everything we knew. The past two years in San Francisco have been an adventure, to say the least, and have made our relationship even stronger. For more on all of that, check out my post of “What I’ve learned from two years in the City.” But I digress, this post is all about some of the big things that I’ve come to appreciate because of that guy, whose name is Dave. So here we go …
Three life lessons I’ve learned from my husband
- Don’t take things out on others or bring your problems home, just enjoy your happy place. If I’m in a bad mood, you can bet that everyone super-close to me is going to feel the burden of that. It’s an issue I’ve always known I need to fix, and with the help of Dave, am finally starting to come around. It almost doesn’t matter how bad or hard Dave’s day is: When he comes home, he is happy to see me, has a smile and goes for a big hug. Me on the other hand: I used to walk in the door, start ranting and then put all of my things away in a fury, all before ever making eye contact with whoever is there. I’m working on this. And Dave is the perfect example of how to do it. There’s always going to be something else in the world going on, so just be happy to be where you are, with who you are with. And for us, that’s together at home at night after the workday is complete, having a little dinner and watching some TV on the couch. Those problems will still be there in the morning, so don’t let them ruin the night.
- Look on the bright side, call the glass half full and be positive, because it pays off. If all of that sounds too cheery for you, believe it or not, it helps. Even though he’s realistic, Dave tends to take a more positive outlook on things than I do, and slowly but surely it’s rubbing off on me. As a naturally-inclined Negative Nelly, I always think the worst of unknown people or activities or events. Throughout years of seeing how Dave approaches newness, I’ve come to realize that we shade our experiences if we walk in with predisposed attitudes. While that’s a wordy way to put it, basically: Think good things and good things will happen. It doesn’t always work, but you know what, it’s way better to veer on the sunny side, because what’s the worst that could happen if you do? (Or should that be, what’s the best that could happen if you do?)
- Plan for the future, but enjoy the moment you’re living in. To say I’m a planner is an understatement. I’m always looking out for the “next best thing.” And while it’s smart to do a little forecasting of your financials, etc., if you’re always looking ahead, then you’re never enjoying what you’ve got. As an example of this, when we go on hikes or various adventures, Dave likes to take it all in for longer than me. While I want to take a quick photo of the scenery for my various social media accounts and move on, Dave will want to stand there for a bit, put his arm around me and soak it up. He actually wants to be in the moment. This life lesson is super important right now, because we know our time living in a little city apartment is not going to last forever. That being said, we’re consciously trying to make the most out of our fun lifestyle and not spend too much time wishing we had more closet space and weren’t renters. With Dave’s help, I’m making a little progress in the “living in the moment” mantra, and it’s pretty enjoyable, especially when I use it to justify an extra dessert.
Maybe these aren’t earth-shattering schools of thought. But to see them played out so effortlessly by the one person that I’m always around is truly a huge deal. I thank my lucky stars for him everyday.
Although I could list a few more life lessons that I’ve gotten from Dave over the years (such as how to fold a t-shirt with Gap-quality creases or how to properly load a dishwasher for the most effective cleaning of the dishes), I think it’s best I stick to the three theme of the day.
And have I taught Dave anything? I’m sure I have, but he doesn’t have a blog, so I guess we’ll never know.
Questions of the day
What have you learned from someone close to you in your life? Are you working on any of these things too?